Touch
by BrandonMichelle
Summary: During her childhood, two different men touched Cosettes life . One was very kind, the other was not . Rated M in chapters one and three for child abuse themes . Novel verse based fic . Reviews are nice to see .
1. That Man

**Be warned, this chapter could be very upsetting to some as it features graphic child abuse.  
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* * *

**Touch**

By the time she was seven years old Cosette had seen a lot of travellers come through the Thenardiers inn. Most of them were just passing through on their way to bigger cities and towns and Cosette never gave them a lot of thought, they never seemed to give her any thought either. Most of them would ignore her as she tried to make herself as unassuming as possible, some however called her names and said she was the most appalling creature they'd ever seen, some would even tell her how awful she smelled and would kick her away from them if she passed by. But by the morning those people would be gone and a different set of travellers would take their place the next night and little Cosette would do her best to not to be noticed by them as well. It was certainly a pitiful existence for the little girl.

One night though a man arrived looking for drink and a bed for the night, he was a skinny wiry man with greasy hair who seemed to have a permanent smirk on his face. He sat down near the fire and ordered wine and a meal, he looked like an unassuming man to Cosette, no different from anyone else who had been through the inn, but when she noticed that he was staring at her with a sly grin on his face she knew he wasn't a nice man. Not that anyone who ever looked at her had anything nice to say to her anyway, but at least they didn't stare at her like this man was doing.

As Cosette quickly placed his glass on the table and turned to walk away again she didn't look at him, but then suddenly the man grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her close to him which made her gasp in fear.

"Hello little girl" he sneered at her horribly.

Cosette was alarmed to say the least at being grabbed by this man and she tried to get away from him but he pulled her closer towards his face, "I like little girls" he whispered to her, and he stroked her hollow cheek roughly.

Cosette knew immediately she should fear this man so she managed to squirm out of his grasp and get away from him. As she was heading back to the table she would hide under out of everyones way she noticed that Mdm Thenardier was looking at her hatefully.

"Slut" she hissed at the poor child.

Throughout the rest of the evening that horrible man who had grabbed her didn't take his eyes off her all night. Every now and then Cosette would dare to look out of her hiding place but every time she noticed the man staring at her she would quickly dart her eyes away again. She didn't like that man watching her, she tried not to think about him, but she didn't like the way he had grabbed her and touched her face, she just hoped that he would pass out from drinking soon like most of the men who came into this place did, then she would be safe from his horrible eyes.

Eventually, when Mdm Thenardier had gotten sick of the sight of her for one evening she was sent to her sleeping place underneath the stairs, she was actually glad that Mdm Thenardier had sent her away, because that man couldn't watch her there and she felt somewhat assured for the night when she pulled the blanket over herself and closed her eyes.

Cosette was sleeping a dreamless sleep that night just like every night when she was suddenly awoken by the sound of someone breathing heavily near her, she turned over on the pathetic mattress she slept on and gasped in fear to see that man leering over her in the dark. He quickly placed a finger over her mouth and whispered "Sssh" whilst he knelt down next to her.  
Cosette was terrified, her eyes were wide with fear at the sight of the horrible man at her bedside, she thought she would be safe here, but clearly she wasn't. She let out a whimper of fear as he touched her mouth and he just whispered again horribly at her "Sssh".

The man moved his hand away from her mouth and stroked her cheek again, he slowly moved his hand downwards and yanked her flimsy blanket away from her tiny body, the man smirked again as he noticed she was shaking with fear. He touched one of her legs and slipped his hand underneath her dress and started stroking the inside of one of her thighs roughly. Cosette, forgetting herself and still terrified, suddenly yelped out "No!" as she tried to slap his hand away from her body.

The man reacted angrily at that, he violently covered her mouth with his hand and leaned in even closer to her and growled "Shut up" so close to her face that Cosette could smell the wine on his breath, "If you make another fucking sound I'll kill you, you little whore".  
Cosette thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest when the man said those horrible words to her, it was beating so fast and she felt like she was going to throw up on him at that moment, but as he leaned back away from her face to check that no one had heard her she managed to keep control of herself, she didn't want to do anything to make this man hurt her even more than he already was.

When the man was satisfied that no one was coming to the girls aid he smirked again and undid some of the buttons on his trousers, Cosette saw what he was doing and her eyes grew even wider with fear, she tried to turn her head away from him but he grabbed her face violently again and forced her to look at him.

"Look at me you little slut" he snarled at her angrily. "Don't fucking move again"

Cosette was breathing so hard now and shaking with fear that she couldn't help but let out another frightened whimper at the sound of the man's angry words, forgetting about the threat he had uttered moments earlier.  
The man just smiled smugly at her when a tear escaped from her eyes as he held onto her face tightly. He was hurting her with his grip, but he soon let go of her face and put his hand back under her dress and continued handling her roughly down there.

His other hand was still down the front of his trousers, and he was moving it back and forth inside of them, he didn't take anything out though, he just kept his hand down there and played with himself whilst touching Cosette with his other hand and ogling her.

Cosette had no idea what the man was doing to her, or to himself, she just knew she didn't like being touched by him and she wanted him to stop. She was terrified at being felt by him and she had no idea what he was doing with his other hand, she had never heard anyone make the kind of noises he was making either, he was grunting and panting and it made her feel sick again to listen to him. She wanted to run away, but she couldn't, she also wanted to look away but she was too scared that the man would hurt her even more if she did, so she just hoped inside that the man would soon leave her alone or that someone, anyone, would come and help her. She would even be glad to see one of the Thenardiers at that very moment if they could get this horrible man away from her.

The man was moving his hand more vigorously inside his trousers now and he was breathing harder, gasping and grunting horribly as he touched himself. His other hand had moved her skirts up to her waist and he smiled hideously as he kept looking at her and feeling her, and feeling himself.

The man appeared to be reaching the point of no return as he screwed up his eyes and held tightly onto Cosettes thigh, he leaned in even closer to her and grunted disgustingly as he shuddered and gasped and finished himself off into his palm. Cosette didn't look at him as he moved his face disturbingly close to hers, she shut her eyes tight and made sure not to look at any more of what he was doing, forgetting that he might hurt her again if she closed her eyes, but the man was too distracted with himself at that moment to notice.

When the mans breathing seemed to slow down again Cosette dared to open her eyes, the man had removed his hand from his trousers and his other hand off Cosette, he looked around again cautiously to make sure he hadn't been seen doing what he was doing to the child, but there was nobody around anywhere and everything was silent. He seemed satisfied with that and he seemed to have satisfied himself sufficiently for the night and was just looking at her now with that same smirk on his face again. The man looked down at the hand had been using to touch himself with and grinned horribly, then he wiped it hurriedly on the blanket he had removed from Cosette.

The man then looked at Cosette again who now had full tears falling down her face; she was too terrified to make any more noise though so she cried silently. She felt disgusted at the man, and worse she felt disgusted at herself. What he did next disturbed her even more, he tugged her skirts back down and smoothed them out again, then he leaned in close to her and laid a horrible kiss on the side of her face whilst he whispered "good girl" sinisterly to her.  
The man then stood up to leave and he left Cosette alone with her shame, without feeling any remorse at all for what he had just done to that poor little girl.

When he was gone Cosette curled herself up into a ball and continued crying, she was feeling so confused about what had just happened, and horrified. She didn't know what he had been doing to himself, or why he wanted to touch her while he did it, but she knew she felt ashamed of herself for letting him do it, and she knew she wasn't a good girl at all; she must have been a very bad girl.

Cosette lay there clutching her knees close to her chest for the rest of the night, she was too terrified to fall back to sleep in case that man came back. She was cold as well, but she didn't want to touch the blanket that man had wiped his hand on so she just lay there, cold and frightened and alone all night.

The next morning the man paid his bill, gathered his belongings and left the inn like every other traveller who had passed through that place. He didn't look at Cosette once, but she made sure to watch him go. She wanted to tell someone what he had done, but she couldn't, because she had no idea what the words were to describe what that man had done to her, and to himself.  
Besides, there was no one in that entire building who would have listened to her anyway, and there was definitely no one who would have cared either.


	2. Papa

When she was eight Cosette had all but forgotten about that man who had touched her, she had a slew of other unpleasant memories from the hands of The Thenardiers to replace that memory, all that remained now was an uneasy feeling about being touched. Luckily for her most people continued ignoring her or just stuck to name calling instead of grabbing her so she somehow managed to forget that horrible experience after a while.

Then one day another man entered her life, but this man didn't stare at her disgustingly and he didn't try to touch her either, no, this man was kind to her.  
He found her when she was lost in the woods one evening; he helped her carry the heavy bucket she was struggling with, he asked her what her name was and he had such a nice smile that it made her want to trust him. When he held out his hand to her she took it gratefully and she didn't feel any fear at being touched by him at all.

This man was nicer to her than any other man she'd ever met, he bought her a doll and let her play with it and most astonishingly of all the next morning after he had appeared he told her that she would be leaving that horrible inn and she would be living with him from now on.

That day was wonderful for little Cosette, she rode in a carriage for the first time that she could remember and the nice man gave her food to eat. They had travelled all day and when Cosette got too tired to walk anymore he lifted her up and let her rest against his shoulder, she fell asleep that night in his arms and she thought that this man was the most wonderful man she'd ever met.

When she woke up the next day she didn't know where she was, she was in a bed in a room she didn't recognise. She rubbed her eyes and turned over and saw the nice man sitting by the bed smiling at her. She had a strange feeling of unease at this for a moment, it seemed familiar to her and somewhat frightening, but he was smiling so nicely at her that she forgot about any bad memories almost right away.

The man helped her out of bed and prepared her some bread and milk to eat for breakfast; while she ate she looked around the new lodgings and decided that she liked it very much.

"Is this your house Monsieur? It's very nice" she said to him when she had finished eating.

"Yes Cosette" he replied, "Actually it's ours; we're both going to live here now".

"Are we really Monsieur?" Cosette asked happily

"Yes my dear" he told her "And Cosette, you can call me Papa if you like".

Cosette looked at him for a moment, she had never known a father in her life and she wasn't sure if this man really was her father, but actually she didn't care if he was or not, this man was nice and she decided she would really quite like him to be her father from now on.

Cosette smiled at him, "Papa" she said, just to see how it felt on her lips. It felt good, and it felt right.

He smiled back at her and opened up his arms to her, she went to him willingly and happily and he held her in his arms so gently. Cosette had never felt so loved by anyone in her whole life, she felt incredibly happy and complete for the first time she could remember.

And then he said something that shattered her happiness a little.

"You need a bath Cosette, I'll draw you one". He said to her, and stood up to prepare the large tin bath that was at one side of the big room they had.

It was true, even though the man had given her new clothes the previous day she was still fairly dirty and grimy underneath, and she still smelled quite badly. The Thenardiers had never let her wash very often and she was never allowed to take baths, only Eponine and Azelma were given that privilege, but right now she didn't want to take a bath, in fact the idea of it scared her.

It wasn't that she didn't want to get clean; it was just that she didn't want to get undressed in front of this man. As nice as he was, she still had a feeling of unease about anyone touching her, or even looking at her when she was undressed.

As the man got the bath prepared and boiled water for her Cosette got more and more nervous about the prospect of getting undressed, the man didn't seem to notice though as he was too preoccupied with what he was doing, when he rolled up his sleeves though so he could help her wash her eyes grew wide with fear and she ran to her little inner room away from him.

"Cosette?" he said as he noticed her run away. He went after her and found her sitting on her bed clutching her knees to her chest and shaking.

"Cosette what's the matter?" he asked her as he knelt down next to her bed, she didn't answer him though she just looked at him fearfully.

"Don't you want to take a bath?" he asked her in a pleasant tone of voice, she was clearly distressed about something so he didn't want to sound in anyway angry at her.

Cosette shook her head, looking as if she was about to burst into tears.

"Why not sweetheart?" he asked, and while he asked her he reached out a hand to touch her on the knee, he didn't mean anything by it, he was just trying to comfort her, but she recoiled away from him in fear and started crying.

"Please…" she said through her tears "Don't hurt me".

The man looked at her for a moment in shock, "_Those people must have really damaged this poor girl_" He thought.

"Cosette" he said gently "I'm not going to hurt you sweetheart, it's just a bath". He stood up and reached out a hand to her and she looked at him hesitantly for a moment, she so badly wanted to trust this man, she really did, he had been so nice to her and had made her feel so safe up until now, so she took his hand slowly and he led her back into the other room and towards the bath.

"There's a good girl" he said softly as he led her by the hand, the words he used resonated oddly to Cosette; she didn't like the sound of them at all.

She hesitated again as she stood in front of the bath, she was still shaking nervously and the nice man knelt down in front of her placing his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"Take your dress off sweetheart" he said quietly

Cosette shook her head again, even more terrified now about undressing in front of him.

"It's just a bath Cosette" he said gently, he really didn't understand the extent of her fear, and what he said next just terrified her even further.

"Here, I'll help you get undressed," he said and Cosette's heart sank as he started unbuttoning her dress.

Cosette thought she would throw up when he said that and she was shaking even more now "_He's going to hurt me_" she thought "_I thought he was nice and now he's going to hurt me". _

As he undressed her Cosette looked down at the floor and stared intently at it not daring to look the man in the eyes, when she was stripped down she tried to cover herself as best she could with her bony arms. She thought to herself that if she didn't struggle or cry out then maybe he would just be done with her quicker and it would all be over soon.

But what he did next surprised her, he didn't try to touch her anywhere, and he didn't touch himself either, he just lifted her into the bath gently and sat her down in it and began helping her wash.

"See Cosette" he said to her softly "It's not so bad now is it?" He smiled at her kindly as she kept her knees close to her chest again, he thought she was just scared of getting undressed because of the terrible bruises he could see on her body, he thought she was ashamed of showing them to him so he didn't say anything to her about them. He didn't know what she was really scared of; he didn't know anything about that horrible man at the inn who had touched her.

He moved some of her hair away so he could wash her back and noticed some terrible marks all over it; she had obviously been whipped with a belt by someone. Some of the marks were old and some were clearly freshly made and it made the nice mans eyes well up just to look at them. He placed a hand on Cosettes shoulder which he noticed made her tense up again, _"She must have been scared to show me these marks, the poor thing"._  
He said softly to her "It's alright Cosette; you'll be alright now I promise". Whilst he said that he tried to hold back some tears that were threatening to appear, he managed it, but it was difficult after seeing the horrible abuse the little girl had suffered.

He helped Cosette wash her hair and poured jugs of water over her to clean her properly, after a while of this Cosette started to relax when she realised that this man had no intention of hurting her at all, he just wanted to give her a bath. And he was right, it wasn't bad at all, in fact it felt really nice having him use a rag to clean her face and neck gently, she even smiled at him a few times as he bathed her and ran a comb through her hair to get all the tangles and knots out. He was being so nice to her that she soon forgot how scared she had been only moments earlier, he showed her how to use soap and how to clean herself properly and he gently washed her back for her making sure not to touch her marks too roughly in case they were still sore, but she didn't flinch at all when he touched her

Eventually she looked like a brand new child, she was nice and clean and pink and rosy cheeked for the first time in years and she felt like she had been cleansed inside and out, it was almost like a baptism for the girl, a cleansing of her past sins and a rebirth into a new life.

The nice man helped her out of the bath and wrapped her up in a towel to dry her off again. She looked at him the whole time with doe like eyes, she was so grateful to him and so thankful, she knew he wasn't going to hurt her at all, and most of all she knew that this man was going to be loving and gentle and so very good.

He helped her get dressed again, and when he finished buttoning her dress back up he smiled at her and said "There now, you look very lovely Cosette".

Cosette had tears in her eyes again when he said that, but they weren't sad tears this time, or fearful ones, these were happy tears. She stepped forward to be closer to him and leaned gently against his shoulder, she was so glad when she felt him wrap his arms around her to hold her in an embrace.

"Thank you" she whispered to him, as he smiled and kissed her hair gently. Then she remembered what to call him so she said it again, "Thank you Papa".


	3. Catherine

**Again, I'm giving you a fair warning that this chapter deals with child abuse themes.**

* * *

A little over a week after Valjean had rescued his daughter things had improved, but only slightly. Cosette hadn't come to terms yet with what had happened to her throughout those horrible years and Valjean didn't know what to do about it. She was still quite fragile but Valjean wondered if he should get her to talk about it, or if he should just let her be silent and let her forget about it that way.

Valjean had seen some fairly horrific things during his time in prison, but he had been an adult when it had happened and he could deal with it. Of course he still had nightmares sometimes, but he didn't wake up screaming from them like Cosette did, and they had been happening frequently ever since he brought her home.  
He noticed other odd behaviour from her as well, she would talk in her sleep sometimes when she was having a nightmare, he could make out words like "don't" and "no", and when Valjean would comfort her after she had awoken from a bad dream it seemed like she didn't want to be touched by him, even though she knew he meant her no harm.

Somehow Valjean got the feeling that she had suffered more abuse than her bruises showed. She was still nervous sometimes when he would prepare her a bath and she kept her knees locked to her chest most of the time as he helped her wash. Other times he would catch her staring at her doll Catherine and looking angry, like she wanted to hurt it, but then other times she would hold the doll close to her protecting it as if it was a baby, Valjean knew this was strange behaviour, but then he also knew that she had been abused horribly, he knew as well that he might be able to help her if she would just open up to him.

* * *

One night after Valjean had bathed her and dressed her in her nightgown he was watching Cosette play with Catherine on the floor before it was her bedtime, she seemed to be happy tonight but something strange happened. She looked straight at the doll as she held it in front of her and suddenly without warning she hit Catherine in the face with one of her tiny fists.

"Cosette!" Valjean exclaimed, standing up from his chair where he had been sat watching her play. The little girl didn't respond to him though so Valjean went to where she was sitting and sat on the floor in front of her, she was looking down at the floor crying hard.

"Why did you hit Catherine?" he asked her as she cried, he tried putting one of his hands on her shoulder to comfort her but she shrugged it off.

"Catherine's your friend" he said picking the doll up from the floor, she hadn't hit it hard enough to break it but it was still an odd thing to do, he tried to hand it back to Cosette but she wouldn't take it.

"I don't deserve friends" Cosette said sadly

"Why would you say that?" Valjean asked her

"Because I'm a bad girl" She replied with tears streaming down her face

"Oh sweetheart…" Valjean said, not really sure how to handle this situation "Here, come here please" he said taking her hand and standing up "Come sit over here with me, bring Catherine as well".

Cosette did as her father told and she followed him to the armchair, he sat her down on his lap and wiped her face with his sleeve and tucked her hair behind her ears as she sat with Catherine on her knee.

"I know this might be hard for you Cosette" he said "But do you want to talk about what happened to you? Do you want to talk about the people who hurt you?"

"I can't" Cosette said quietly with fear in her eyes

"Whatever happened to you, you can tell me. I promise it'll stay between us, I won't tell another soul" Valjean told her.

"I…" she began "I don't know what the words are" she said, again talking so quietly like she had a secret she didn't want to reveal.

Valjean knew he would have to change tactics if he was going to get her to open up to him, he looked at the doll she was clutching tightly and thought that she might be the key to this whole thing.

"Let me have Catherine for a moment" he said, taking the doll out of her hands gently "Why don't we pretend that Catherine here is Cosette for now, Can you show me on the doll where Cosette was hurt?" he asked his daughter

Cosette nodded, her eyes big and wide still

"Where did they hurt Cosette?" He asked softly whilst kissing her hair gently

Cosette hesitated before slowly pointing at the dolls eye, and Valjean remembered the black eye that she had when he first met her which had now faded away.

"Someone hit Cosette in the face didn't they?" He said to the girl, who simply nodded again.

"You're doing very well" he said quietly before continuing "Where else did they hurt Cosette?" he asked.

Cosette turned the doll around and pulled her dress down a little and made trace marks on her back with her finger and Valjean thought about the faded marks on Cosettes back that still remained from a past beating.

"Did someone whip Cosette?" He asked and she nodded again

"Who whipped her?" he asked her

She simply replied "Madame did" and he knew who she was talking about.

Valjean continued asking her to show him where she was hurt using the doll as a prop, she pointed out various parts of her body where she had been kicked, slapped and hit and Valjean thought that she had possibly received every kind of abuse imaginable, until she showed him something he hadn't expected.

And yet, it explained so much.

Cosette lifted up the dress of her doll a little and she touched it between the legs, Valjeans eyes went wide as he realised the horror of what she was trying to tell him.

"There was a man, and he touched me here" she said, dropping all pretence that she was talking about anyone but herself.

"Who touched you?" he asked, shocked at this revelation "The innkeeper?"

"Yes" she said, but then she remembered a different face "No, it wasn't him…..I don't know who it was. I think he was a traveller, I don't remember. He made me…I didn't want him to. He touched me between my legs and he was touching himself in his trousers. I don't know what he was doing. I tried to stop him but I was scared he would hurt me". She said, tears falling down her face again.

Valjean didn't really want to ask this next question, but unfortunately he felt like he had too. He couldn't let this child hold onto it, it would just continue to eat at her if he did.

"Cosette, this man…did he…" He had no idea how to say the words he wanted to say "Did he put anything inside of you? Did he hurt you inside?" He asked, trying to find out if the girl had been raped.

"I don't understand". She said sniffling through tears, not knowing what he was asking her and confused by the words he used.

"That's alright Cosette, It's nothing. You've been very brave tonight, you don't have to say anymore if you don't want too" He said trying to calm her down. When he thought about it again, she couldn't have possibly been raped. Could she? As repugnant as it was to think about surely someone would have noticed if she had been violated like that, on a child as young as she was and with the state of her fragile little body, well…..there would have been signs.

It was only natural though as her father that he would jump to that conclusion, it might not have been as violent an attack as a rape, but it had clearly been enough to damage her anyway.

"He said I was a good girl" she continued "But I'm not; I know I'm not because I let him touch me. That's why I don't deserve to have friends" she said breaking down into tears again

Valjean brought her closer to him and held her in his arms as she cried, he thought this might have been a mistake making her relive these memories. But at least now he knew the full extent of her trauma.

After a little while of her crying he made her look at him again, he lifted her chin so she could look him in the eyes and he wiped her face again with his sleeve. His shirt was getting quite soaked with her tears now, but he didn't mind.

"Cosette, please listen to me now". He began "You are a good girl. You've been through something terrible and I know it must have been very scary for you but please know that none of it was your fault at all. You didn't do anything wrong, those people who hurt you are the ones who are bad not you. You're a beautiful little girl, and you didn't deserve anything that they did to you. Do you believe me Cosette?"

"Yes" she said simply

"Please believe me Cosette" he said again

"I believe you" she said again, not really putting much effort into her reply, but she was too worn out from crying to say anything else.

"Nobody's ever going to hurt you again I promise" Valjean added

"I can't talk anymore Papa" Cosette said, her voice sounding so tiny and broken. Valjean felt guilty right then for making her tell him everything she'd been through, he felt like he'd pushed her too far tonight.

* * *

Valjean put Cosette to bed soon after he had calmed her down again on that evening, the ordeal of speaking about her abuse had exhausted her and she fell asleep almost immediately after he had tucked her in. He stayed by her side for a long time that evening hoping that she would have a peaceful night free from bad dreams.  
He wasn't sure if what he had put her through that night had been a good idea or not, perhaps it would have been better not to make her relive her trauma and just let her forget about it in time. He supposed that only time would tell if she would overcome her past or if her fears would consume her completely, but obviously he prayed for her recovery.

As he continued to watch her he began to cry quietly for her, he couldn't believe what she had told him, what kind of man would ever do those things to a little girl? Thinking about the physical abuse she had suffered was bad enough but to think about her being molested as well, it was beyond belief. He knew now why she had been so reluctant to let him bathe her in the beginning; she was scared of being naked in front of him, he should have known that something was wrong then and not pushed her to talk about it.  
As hard as it was to admit Valjean felt like he had violated her a little by making her talk about it, but it was done now and he couldn't change it. The only thing he could do now was to be her father and look after her and prove to her that she had nothing to be scared of ever again.


	4. Marius

**I know this chapter is quite different from the other three, this isn't dark like the others and honestly i think it sucks but i kinda just wanted to give Cosette a happy ending. **

* * *

**_Ten years later_**

Through some combination of both a miraculous recovery and her fathers love and protection Cosette had managed to forget most of the terrible things that happened to her during her childhood. She still had the occasional nightmare about being hurt, about being touched in places she didn't want to be touched but she had been able to come to terms with these and think of them as just nightmares and nothing more.  
She grew up happily with her father who taught her so many good things and kept her safe during the years whilst he watched her grow; when she was still a little girl and she would get scared during the night she would crawl into her papas bed and he would shelter her from her fears. As she got older these times happened more infrequently, in fact the last time she had spent the night in her fathers bed was when she was fourteen. Valjean had thought she was too old to still be doing this at that time, but then he also remembered everything she had been through so he didn't deny her comfort that night either. She was his child, and he loved her with all his heart and she loved him just as much in return.

Valjean became everything to Cosette, a father, mother, friend, playmate and comforter. "You'll never have to be afraid of anything Cosette" he had said to her numerous times during her childhood. She had heard those words so many times that she eventually was able to forget what it was she was originally afraid of.

Cosette had begun to think her father was the most wonderful man she'd ever known, she would have been perfectly content to stay with him for the rest of her life, but then she met Marius.

In the past few years she had started to become more sexually aware as her body developed and went through changes, she would notice men more and more when her father would take her for walks in the Luxembourg gardens, some of them she thought very handsome, some she thought very stern, and some just repulsed her.  
When she met Marius she began to feel desire and want for another person's body and she was unsure if these feelings were appropriate or not. She never dared to bring it up to her father though, for one she was too embarrassed to talk to him about those kinds of things and two, she felt ashamed of feeling those kinds of things. She often felt ashamed of wanting Marius to touch her, to kiss her, to feel her and even more. She couldn't be sure why this was, but she thought that it must have been something from her past that was bad; perhaps that's why her father never talked to her about her past anymore.

She often wondered if it was her, if she had done something shameful in her past? But then sometimes when she was with Marius he made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world and all the two of them could see and think about were each other.

* * *

Cosette and Marius had been married today, and they had just shared their wedding night together. It had been an odd experience for Cosette, a mixture of fear, nervousness, desire and lust.

The fear was mostly due to her girlish innocence, of course she had no idea what was expected of her on her wedding night, her father hadn't discussed it with her, he had wanted to but when he looked at her he could never see the grown up she had become, he only ever saw his little girl so he just couldn't bring himself to tell her about marital duty.

That night when Marius had laid down with her and begun to kiss her gently she whispered to him "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" as his lips caressed her neck gently.

"Just do whatever feels right to you" he whispered back to her.

So she did just that, although she really didn't know what felt right yet. She touched his body with a gentle eagerness, she caressed his strong shoulders and his chest with her delicate fingers and when his hands gently removed her nightgown from her body she helped him along with his trousers too.

When Cosette saw him fully naked for the first time she was somewhat bashful and looked away, but she was curious too and she made herself look at him. It was strange, but she quite liked seeing all of him and she longed to touch him.

* * *

Being with Marius that night had been wonderful, but it had also been quite painful as he took her virginity. Thankfully he had been gentle with her, Marius was nervous and virginal too and he moved slowly inside her, making her feel loved and wanted and cared for.  
But it also made her feel something else as well, as Marius was touching her that night it made a memory stir inside her head. She remembered something from her childhood, it was a hazy memory now and she couldn't remember a face or where she was but she remembered a man touching her when she didn't want to be touched. The memory made her feel ashamed, that's what she knew for sure. But then Marius brought her back with his gentle touches and whispers and she let herself enjoy being with him. It didn't feel wrong making love to him that night, although it did make her somewhat uncomfortable to hear the noises he made as he shuddered and spent himself inside of her. It was just such a raw sound, almost animalistic, and she was unprepared for that amount of passion from him so soon.  
The way he gently kissed her lips and face afterwards reminded her that it was still her Marius she was with though, and that made everything alright again. As long as it was Marius she was with she knew she would always be cared for.

* * *

The two of them stayed awake for a long time after they had made love that night, but it was awfully late now, or perhaps it was early depending on your point of view, Marius had fallen asleep next to Cosette with his limbs entwined with hers, he looked so peaceful and content but Cosettes mind was racing quite a bit from everything that had happened that night.

She slipped out of bed quietly and put on the nightgown that Marius had discarded from her earlier and walked over to the window of their bedroom, it had begun to snow and she looked outside for a long time whilst her mind was busy wondering about something.  
The memories that had stirred inside her earlier were bothering her, someone had hurt her when she was a child, she was sure of it. Someone had made her feel ashamed and dirty, someone had touched her in a place they shouldn't have and it was why she had been so afraid as a child.

It wasn't her father, she knew that much, he would never have hurt her like that. But who was it? And why did they do it? She didn't know, and she would never know and that probably was the hardest part of the memory, not knowing and not being able to understand it.

As she thought hard that night on this memory it began to upset her more and she cried quietly as she kept looking out the window, everything was so muddled up inside her head and she kept trying to make sense of it, she was deep in thought and might have stayed that way all night if something hadn't finally distracted her.

"Cosette?" she heard Marius say quietly from behind her, he had woken up and he could see her standing by the window in the moonlight, he was curious as to why she wasn't in bed with him. "What's the matter?" he said quietly as he noticed her tears when she turned around.

"Oh…um…nothing" she said, startled by him slightly "I was just….well a lots happened tonight and I kept thinking about it all and it just overwhelmed me a little. I'm fine though Marius really". She smiled at him sweetly as she wiped away her tears which put him at ease again.

"Come back to bed" he said softly, patting the mattress next to him

Cosette did so, climbing back under the warm covers and putting her arm around Marius.

"Are you sure you're alright? I didn't hurt you too much did I?" He asked her as he kissed her softly on the forehead.

"No, not at all" she said quietly to him, stroking his face. "I'm just so happy to be with you Marius".

Marius smiled at her again, feeling reassured by her words. He kissed her softly on the lips for a while until they were both finally ready to fall asleep.

Cosette thought to herself before she drifted off that night about all the good things she had in her life, she had a father who loved her dearly and now a husband who loved her and wanted her in the same way she wanted him.  
Being touched by Marius felt wonderful and she knew it wasn't wrong to feel that. So what did it matter if someone had hurt her in the past? That's all it was to Cosette now, it was part of the past and she decided she would rather look to the wonderful future she had in front of her and forget the hurt that had touched her in the past.

**The End**


End file.
